Human relationships are very complex. Does a formula for a perfect relationship exist? How essential are love, lust, aggression, jealousy and passion in a relationship?
A relationship is far more than just lust and passion.
One look at her and those gorgeous dimples caste a spell on you! Awaiting the release of her next film ‘Phir Zindagi ‘, Gul shares her thoughts on love and relationships.
Gul has a simple formula for a healthy relationship, “it’s important to do things together, because I believe that couples that play together, stay together.”
Love is very important in a relationship; it’s the glue that binds. It’s the key to a healthy relationship. Also, you’re with someone not because of the physicality that there is between the both of you but love. It’s the initial chemistry. It’s important to have common interests in some degree, it’s important to share laughs, sorrows and be dependable on each other. It’s important to do things together, because I believe that couples that play together, stay together.
Initially, I feel it’s very important to have a high degree of physical compatibility – that’s what eventually leads to bonding together.
I once read a quote in a book titled, ‘I will never leave you’ by Hugh and Gayle Prather where a marriage counsellor tells a woman, “What is between your husband’s legs will give you far less pleasure than what’s between his ears.” So, in the long-term, a relationship is far more than just lust and passion.
Initially, passion is very important. It’s the glue that binds you together and eventually as the years go by and as time lapses, I think, being able to cuddle with somebody and sleep at night probably would be far more meaningful than to just indulge in pure passion. I am not underplaying the importance of passion or overplaying the importance of bonding. I think passion is important in it’s own place but love is the thing that keeps a relationship strong.
If aggression is coming out of jealousy, it is interesting in the beginning. It makes you feel important, it makes you feel wanted if someone is jealous. But, at the same time it can be suffocating, you’ll feel that you are not able to breathe because someone is constantly watching over your shoulders, checking your messages, your phones, in a way checking your actions. That’s difficult to deal with.
I guess there is some amount of jealousy initially. But then, there has to be a basic level of trust, and understanding in a relationship, so that you both decide what’s in and what’s out of your relationship.